Anthology Submissions & Girls (In the Men’s Bathroom)

8 Feb

I’d like to discuss two things today. One is the fact that this year, I’ve decided it’s high time to start submitting my work to get published.  I’ll keep you all posted. This year’s goal is anthologies. I really need to start putting some work out there. I also want to start writing some more creative non-fiction, so I’m going to quit wanting to do it and just do it already. I’ve had a work in progress, if you can call it that, for a few months now.

Since my house foreclosed, I started thinking about creating a collection of essays of moving moments throughout that intense process. It was emotionally and physically draining, and I thought, yeah, why not? The first few essays have come out really good. And I want to keep moving with this. There is only one thing stopping me- the sequel to my fantasy novel. I have 86 pages right now. I know I need to finish this before I move on to the next project. I know, just sit down and write it already, right!? If I really pushed myself, I could probably finish that within the next month. So that’s my goal. The only problem is once you get even a little sidetracked from your work, it could be a stake through the heart of it. So I’m trying to focus here.

Second, I’d like to bring up the men’s bathroom for a moment. Girls, have you ever used a urinal? Don’t. I’ve been thinking about the time I went to one of my favorite restaurant/bars (they play live classic music, duh), and the girls bathroom was completely flooded. Obviously, I had to pee. Obviously. Obviously this would happen to me because that is just how the f#%&ing cookie crumbles.

I told my girlfriend to make sure no one came in the men’s room while I was in there. Lo and behold- it was a urinal. When you gotta go, you gotta go.

Let’s just say it was an experience.

And no girl should ever have to pee in a men’s urinal. We aren’t…equipped for it. Let’s say it was a lot of balancing followed by cursing.

Side note: I’m quitting smoking. Again. Hello, E-cig! Shut up. I don’t care if it’s “cheating”.

At least I didn’t resort to crack. 


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