It’s Not Me, It’s You

19 Oct

Its Not Me Its You photo 1

It’s Not Me, It’s You

By  · On October 17, 2013

Lily Allen had it right when she titled her second album ‘It’s Not Me, It’s You’. She was onto something here. How come it’s easier to use a cliché line when you break up with someone? Shifting blame onto yourself in explaining the reason you’re done is not cool. Don’t say ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ if what you really mean is…it’s you!

I think one of the reasons people do this is to avoid hurting the other person by telling them the truth. By copping out, and using ‘it’s not you, it’s me’, it’s just not fair. Not only is it not fair to you, it’s not fair to him. If he has certain behaviors that are…err…less than attractive or manageable, you should tell him so he doesn’t ruin his next relationship by repeating the same patterns.

How about this one: ‘I’m just not ready for a serious relationship’, AKA, I just don’t want to be in a serious relationship with you. Why don’t you just say what you really mean and give him reasons why you feel this way? It might hurt worse, but at least you’re giving him the respect he deserves.

Or what about ‘I love you, but I’m not in love with you’? This one may be cliché but sometimes it’s also true. The translation however, is that you’re just not sexually attracted to him. Tell him you think you’re better off as friends for this reason. But, in this case, telling someone you have no desire to sleep with them can be pretty upsetting, so I understand why you’d be tempted to use the cliché. Instead, maybe tell him you just lost the spark somewhere and let him down gently.

Either way, using cliché break up lines can be hurtful. If you’ve ever had one used on you, you’re left with a million questions in your head as to why he really broke up with you. Don’t do that to someone else. Honesty is always the best policy, no matter how devastating it can be. It’s better than never knowing at all, especially if he has strong feelings for you.


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