Why He Won’t Put a Ring on it and Why You Shouldn’t Let Him

12 May

Women often wonder why men aren’t ready for long term, committed relationships. We tend to think that men are immature or don’t want to settle down. We think that because it’s harder to face the truth; that he just doesn’t want to settle down with us. Unfortunately, this is more often the case than it isn’t.

We’ve heard it all before, if a man wants to see you, he will make it happen. Well if a man wants to marry you, he will make that happen too. If a man wants to spend the rest of his life with you he will let you know it, whether he proposes or not. If he isn’t “ready” for a long term committed relationship, it might mean several things. It might mean that he isn’t ready for one with anyone, maybe at his age, or where he is at that stage in his life. Maybe he isn’t secure enough in his financial state to start a family. Maybe he just got out of a long term committed relationship and isn’t ready, emotionally, to jump into another one (which is smart).

Maybe you aren’t making yourself seem like the long term kind. If you are high maintenance, controlling, possessive, psychotic or delusional, you need to realize certain behaviors and habits are not attractive or even acceptable for that matter. Most men won’t stand for it, let alone like it and want to commit to it. Most women wouldn’t want that in a partner either. Someone once told me to write down all of the traits you’d want in someone else, and then be those things. It sounded so simple, but I thought it was a genius approach to finding love. We all have certain characteristics we don’t like in ourselves, but core values should be simple. Honesty. Loyalty. Faith. Add whatever else you need in someone else…and then start being that.

It’s hard admitting our own faults, but it can be even harder facing the truth when you don’t want it to be so. Maybe, just maybe, you’re not the right woman for him. And in that case, he isn’t the right man for you, plain and simple. As women, we tend to get emotionally invested in a man almost immediately if we feel a connection. That connection might only be lust. It might only be friendship. It might only be the fact that you found someone, finally, to listen. Don’t let this mislead you into thinking that it’s special, or that he’s the one.

The truth is…when you find the man you’re meant to spend the rest of your life with, he will feel the same way. He will want to spend the rest of his life with you too and treat you like the goddess that you are. If you start putting pressure on a man, say to propose or to start a family, he might run or he might oblige. Personally, I think he should want it almost immediately. With true love, I think that’s the case. You should never have to ask for it. The wants and desires should be mutual between both people. But Beyoncé said it best: “if you liked it then you should have put a ring on it”. Whatever the reason may be, accept the fact that he doesn’t want to be with you and move on.

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4 Responses to “Why He Won’t Put a Ring on it and Why You Shouldn’t Let Him”

  1. TheDisfigured May 17, 2013 at 5:02 pm #

    I still believe in marriage. Don’t count it out just yet.

  2. nikziead May 28, 2013 at 10:14 am #

    Reblogged this on Welcome To Nikky's Love Corner.

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