What it’s Like Being a Woman

28 Mar

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Since so many men have told me they’ve been reading my blog, I was shocked.  I’m surprised men read this stuff.  Maybe it’s to get a little insight into a woman’s mind?  Maybe they’re a little curious?  I figured I’d shed some light on what it’s like to be a woman.  Make you guys understand us a bit more. 

A typical day in the life of a typical woman:

We start the day off by cursing and throwing the alarm clock (IF we aren’t a morning person).  We roll out of bed looking like a monster (because we don’t wake up being as perfect and beautiful as we are when you see us, despite what Hollywood tells you).  We have coffee or tea, maybe a cigarette.  Get dressed and try to squeeze our jeans on. We then leave our house and proceed to get stared at and hit on all day long because men are just picturing us naked and thinking about having sex with us. 

That’s a typical day.  It gets annoying.  No, we don’t want to sleep with you.  Unless, of course, we do want to.  As a side note, we are probably just as horny and perverted as men are.  We just only talk about it with other women.  Some of us burp, fart, curse, smoke, drink and chill like men.  Maybe even more so than some men.  We aren’t as fragile as you think us to be.  We aren’t all damsels in distress.  Some of us might have a harder hit than you.  Not every girl fight involves pillows, hair pulling, and b*tch slaps.  Just because we have a vagina doesn’t mean we don’t have balls (figurative balls, of course).

But remember, all women are not your typical woman.  Please stop being a**holes in general, oh and buy us flowers and chocolate sometimes.  Or at least tell us you think about us. Daily. Just because we like that.  No matter what I tell you, you’ll probably never understand us.  But good luck!

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3 Responses to “What it’s Like Being a Woman”

  1. TheDisfigured March 28, 2013 at 3:11 pm #

    I read good writing, period. Women that have a balance of strength and vulnerability are key to surviving this world. Intangible balls on a woman is a good thing.

    And if all you women out there want dudes to cut back on staring at you all the time, all ya gotta do is stop being female.

  2. andy1076 March 28, 2013 at 4:33 pm #

    Noted lol! 😀

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