Archive | March, 2013

What it’s Like Being a Woman

28 Mar

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Since so many men have told me they’ve been reading my blog, I was shocked.  I’m surprised men read this stuff.  Maybe it’s to get a little insight into a woman’s mind?  Maybe they’re a little curious?  I figured I’d shed some light on what it’s like to be a woman.  Make you guys understand us a bit more. 

A typical day in the life of a typical woman:

We start the day off by cursing and throwing the alarm clock (IF we aren’t a morning person).  We roll out of bed looking like a monster (because we don’t wake up being as perfect and beautiful as we are when you see us, despite what Hollywood tells you).  We have coffee or tea, maybe a cigarette.  Get dressed and try to squeeze our jeans on. We then leave our house and proceed to get stared at and hit on all day long because men are just picturing us naked and thinking about having sex with us. 

That’s a typical day.  It gets annoying.  No, we don’t want to sleep with you.  Unless, of course, we do want to.  As a side note, we are probably just as horny and perverted as men are.  We just only talk about it with other women.  Some of us burp, fart, curse, smoke, drink and chill like men.  Maybe even more so than some men.  We aren’t as fragile as you think us to be.  We aren’t all damsels in distress.  Some of us might have a harder hit than you.  Not every girl fight involves pillows, hair pulling, and b*tch slaps.  Just because we have a vagina doesn’t mean we don’t have balls (figurative balls, of course).

But remember, all women are not your typical woman.  Please stop being a**holes in general, oh and buy us flowers and chocolate sometimes.  Or at least tell us you think about us. Daily. Just because we like that.  No matter what I tell you, you’ll probably never understand us.  But good luck!

When Your Fictional Characters Are More Important Than You

13 Mar

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Do you ever have those nights where you just can’t seem to fall asleep?  I used to have these before a day where I knew it held some sort of importance.  When I was younger maybe it was picture day, or a big test.  Or Christmas.  I’d get in bed real early in hopes to fall asleep and be nice and rested the next day.  Instead, I’d lie there awake for hours, anticipating the day to come.  I’d think and worry and wonder and instead of sleeping, I would just lay there with my thoughts racing.

Now, I’m older (much older, unfortunately, than I was when I was a child).  Now, I still have nights like these, only it’s not before Christmas or a big test.  It’s nights when I’ve become so involved with a project that I can’t stop thinking about it. 

I recently started writing my next book, even though I told myself I’d hold off on writing another lengthy piece of fiction until I graduated school.  But I found myself up in bed last night, thinking about my character and what she would do next.  I couldn’t stop thinking about her and the magical world she had found herself in.  It got me excited.  But I’m still a little tired today.  This is when you know you’re involved in your work, when your characters lives become more important than your own. 

I find that magical in itself, getting so wrapped up in your own work that it feeds some inner part of you.  Did you ever write something that got you so excited that you were up all night?  You were so involved in your character’s fictional existence that it took over a decent portion of your life?  This, to me, is good writing.  When you yourself can’t wait to read what your character is going to do next.  That’s when you know what you’re writing is successful.

I have started to write things and got maybe two or three pages in, and just felt semi-good about it.  I saved them, but I didn’t continue in the moment.  If you don’t want to write it, who will want to read it?  That’s how I’ve felt about it this whole time.  (Though, that may be wrong.)  I’m not 100% sure.  It’s just what works for me. 

The best advice I was given long ago was “Write the book you want to read.”  That has stuck with me.  And it will forever be my number one motto when it comes to writing.

What’s a Good Idea?

11 Mar

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When it comes to writing, or creating anything in general, the process is as unique as it is broad.  I find myself randomly coming up with ideas, I jot it down, and I can sometimes return back to it a month, two months, or even a year later.  I believe in keeping at least a small notebook with you at all times, for this reason. 

Ideas come and go.  Maybe they aren’t all good.  Maybe they all have the potential to be good and it’s all in the delivery; how you put the idea together.  Maybe it’s our own ideas, maybe it’s someone else’s idea that just creeps into our thought process somehow.  I’m not sure.  The entire thing to me is pretty mystical and endearing.

I don’t think there are too many bad ideas.  Can any idea be bad?  As long as you’re thinking, it means you’re alive.  It means you’re using your brain for something.  Someone said to me they weren’t certain if thoughts were even real.  I guess that’s up for debate.  We can’t hold a thought in our hand to prove its real, so is it after all?  I’m not sure.

Ideas are a little different; you can’t hold the initial idea in your hand, either.  But you can certainly hold the finished product in your hand, the end result from the particular idea.  It’s a shame how many potentially good ideas we let go.  I’ve found myself thinking of something that I thought was brilliant in the moment, and without that notebook to write it down in, the idea is lost if I am distracted by one of life’s many distractions or interruptions. 

Is the idea lost forever or will it come back to me?  Does it go to someone else?  Are ideas just floating somewhere above us and we grab hold of them?  If we don’t, will they float on to someone else who will put it to good use?  Maybe so, because I have heard countless people say “I thought of that!” when they see a new invention on television.  Maybe that was their loss, letting the idea go instead of putting it to good use. 

All I know, is I’m in love with the idea.

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Grrr…

11 Mar

Grrr...

This should be true.

The Better Version of You

10 Mar

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I find it kind of ironic that a People Magazine commercial plays a song by Bruno Mars called “Just the Way You Are”.  The song is playing with the lyrics “You’re amazing…just the way you are…” as photos of all different celebrities are flashing by on the screen.  The reason I find it ironic is because so many celebrities have had plastic surgery and have changed who they are to become a celebrity.  I also think it’s sending the wrong message to young kids and people of all ages, for that matter.  It gives people this false idea that celebrities are naturally perfect when it’s simply not true.  I think most non-celebrity women could look just as beautiful as them if they had a stylist, a make-up artist and a brilliant photographer who can also photo-shop out all their flaws. 

We live in an era where everything is supposed to be perfect; our skin, our hair, our nails, our careers, our lives.  I’ve read that social media is actually making people more depressed because they are comparing their lives to others.  Social media tools make it easy for people to pretend like their life is great.  They post interesting photos and brag about their careers while others watch and compare themselves and feel like they aren’t achieving as much as other people their age. 

The simple truth: everyone has flaws, everyone has bad days, and no one’s life is perfect. 

No one should compare themselves to anyone else.  Maybe you compare yourself to someone else who is doing something that in your heart you want to do, you just haven’t thought that you actually had the capability or talent to do so.  I just recently started actually going for things that I want, and it’s amazing what a difference it makes when you find yourself on the right path.  Everything changes. You can only be yourself.  You should never try to be someone else because when you do, you’ll lose who you are.  And it may be harder to find your way back than you think.

And that person who you think has everything?  Chances are…they don’t.  Even celebrities aren’t perfect.  They may have money, fame and glamour but that doesn’t make someone happy.  If you think you’d want to be rich and famous, just remember everything that comes with it; No privacy, no personal life, having to be “perfect” at all times. 

We are all human.  And as humans, we make mistakes.  We aren’t perfect.  We cry.  We yell.  We accidentally drop sh*t, maybe break a glass or two (on purpose or on accident, depending on your temper).  And if you think that you’re not that great, change what you don’t like about yourself.  Every day can be a sad struggle, or it can be fun and beautiful. 

Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not; it comes across as fake.  People can see right through that.  Real people, anyway. 

The moral of the story: be yourself.  And be the best, fastest, hottest, smartest you that you can be. 

Three Simple Factors To Remember…Especially When We Forget

8 Mar

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I read something recently that stuck with me.  It said autonomy, mastery and purpose were three factors that lead to a better performance and personal satisfaction.  If you don’t know what these three things mean in detail, I’d like to elaborate on this subject, because it made sense to me.  Maybe it will make sense to someone else, too. 

Definitions of autonomy:

The quality or state of being self-governing; especially: the right of self-government

Self-directing freedom and especially moral independence

The state or condition of having independence or freedom           

 

Mastery is defined as:

Command or grasp, as of a subject

Superiority or victory

Expert skill or knowledge.

 

Purpose:

The reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists.

An intended or desired result; end; aim; goal.

Determination; resoluteness.

The subject in hand; the point at issue.

Practical result, effect, or advantage.

 

These three things seem so simple, like common sense knowledge we should know; or maybe do know on some deep level that resonates within ourselves.  First, we need to realize that we are free.  I sometimes forget this.  We live in a world where we are able to say whatever we want, do whatever we want and yet so many of us fail to actually do what we want.  I know so many people that get stuck in situations that they don’t really want to be in.  It’s because we forget that we have free will.  We forget, but it’s the most important thing that we have.  People have had to fight for our freedom and so many of us let it go to waste.   We need to remember 100% of the time that we have the ability and power to walk away from any situation we don’t want to be a part of, just like we have the ability and power to go after things that we want.

Mastery; the second factor in better performance, is more challenging.  It’s not as simple.  It takes hard work to master something, like an instrument or a skill.  Nothing comes easy in life; that we all know.  We know from learning.  Nothing is going to fall into your lap and happen.  You have to make it happen yourself.  I always think that no one actually gives a sh*t about you, no one is going to spoon-feed you your expectations and hopes, so you need to work hard to get to where you want to be. 

Purpose; the third and final factor in leading to personal satisfaction.  More like leading to salvation.  Purpose is something we all have.  It’s according to the individual though.  Everyone is different, with a different path, a different purpose.  If you don’t fulfill things you want for yourself you’re never going to feel like you’re really living.  We all take tomorrow for granted when it’s never promised.  I’ve been trying to not take things for granted almost my whole life, and I still do.  It’s natural because we are a pretty spoiled generation. 

We all need to realize what it is we have to offer the world and put it out there.  I know I want to leave something more behind than just trash and regrets. 

Freedom of Speech

5 Mar

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I recently started a history class for the university I’m attending, and I actually was paying attention while reading about history.  I used to find it boring and time-consuming, now I find it interesting.  What still baffles me is how slavery ever existed in the first place.  Maybe I can say that now because of the era I live in, but I still don’t think equality is 100% pure, which is sad.  I know racism and sexism is still alive today.  I just wonder if it will ever die. 

I get seriously angry when I read about these times in history; slavery, and radicals and abolitionists being beat and murdered for their rights and fighting for slaves’ freedom.  I was reading about a man names Thaddeus Stevens, 73 years old in 1865, who was the leading radical in the House of Representatives during the reconstruction period.  Born with a clubfoot, he identified with those outside the social mainstream.  He was a masterful parliamentarian known for his honesty and sarcastic wit.  He became a compelling spokesman for abolition and an uncompromising advocate of equal rights for African Americans.  From the beginning of the war, he urged that the slaves be not only freed but also armed to fight the Confederacy.

Even after the Emancipation Proclamation was passed, freed people weren’t given their rights.  Abolitionists throughout the North began to argue that emancipation would be meaningless unless the government guaranteed the civil and political rights of the former slaves. So, some Republicans expanded their definition of war objectives to include abolishing slavery, extending citizenship for the former slaves and guaranteeing the equality of all citizens before the law.  At the time, these were extreme views on abolition and equal rights, and the people who held them were called Radical Republicans, or Radicals. 

Can you believe the idea of equal rights was considered radical?  Perhaps some still consider it radical today.  I consider it common sense.  I’d consider it a given that all men were created equal.  This idea people had about having African Americans as slaves just disgusts me.  I read stories of the slaves that stole their freedom by just walking away from their “masters” and I applaud them.  I respect the men, like Thaddeus Stevens, Frederick Douglass, and Charles Sumner for having the courage and decency to fight for what they believe in, no matter what the cost. 

I started to wonder about all the great men we have lost by murder, by assassination; Martin Luther King Jr, Gandhi, John F. Kennedy, Abraham Lincoln, John Lennon.  I wondered if “freedom of speech” is actually free.  At what cost did we earn it?  If we have freedom of speech, how come it seems like no one is talking?  How come it seems like every good man who has something good to say or do gets assassinated?  Are there just too many shitty people out there to let some great ones exist?  Evil and lesser men can’t stand the thought of good ideas being spread?  God forbid an intelligent, powerful person exists and lives. 

Even worse, I don’t remember the last good speech I heard a man (or woman) give.  I hope a revolutionary person comes soon, Lord knows we need one.  As for me, I know I’m going to say as much sh*t as I can before I die.