Ice Cream: The Cold Break-Up Medication & The Cold Harsh Truth

11 Feb

Breaking up is hard to do.  Is that the first line of a boy band song?  Sounds awfully familiar.  Maybe it just sounds like it should be one.

Those first few days (or weeks) after a break-up are the hardest.  We sit there eating ice cream with our feelings, hoping the stomach ache will take away the heart ache.  Cookies and cream does the trick for me.  That, or royal banana split.  I find myself highly medicated on sugar, with a brain freeze, watching re-runs of real housewives and lifetime movies.  I like to make myself suffer watching anything with romance to remind myself how broken-hearted and sad I am. 

The wallowing aside, most of the pain level depends on what caused the break up in the first place.  Did you end the relationship or were you the one who was dumped? (Sorry, the word ‘dumped’ sounds so harsh….) Were you cheated on?  Did the person say something that was unforgivable because of how much it hurt or offended you?  That, to me, makes it almost easier to deal with.  At least you know the reason it ended or what was the cause of the split.  At least you have a clear picture of why it was now over.  Or at least you can take a few days (or weeks, depending on your pain tolerance) to mourn the loss of a relationship and move on. 

The worst case scenarios to me are the ones that are left unresolved and open-ended.  The ones with no closure are the most devastating.  No goodbye, no reason why.  The ones that just leave you hanging…those are the doozies. That’s the mother f%#^er of all ways to end a relationship.  You never have closure.  You’re just left with a big fat question mark on your forehead like some sort of embarrassing brand.  To me, I think it’s the most cowardly way to end things with someone.  A person deserves an explanation.  They deserve to know why you want to end all means of communication with them. 

Running away with no reason, excuse or explanation is just wrong.  Consider the other person’s feelings before doing this.  It could really ruin a person.  Their trust would be altered from that moment on.  If that person ever meant anything to you, you’d give them a valid explanation.  Or at least mutter the words “it’s over” before you never speak to them ever again. 

That’s probably what hurts the most…knowing you weren’t special enough to that person to deserve any sort of goodbye, because they’re so above telling the truth and being honest with someone.  It’s that moment you thought you knew someone, and realize you didn’t know them at all.  Because now you were strangers…and not by choice.  You didn’t even have a say in it.  You didn’t get to say what you had to.  People say ignorance is bliss.  I say, they’re wrong.  What part of it is blissful?  The wondering?  The questions?  The self-doubt you develop? 

It’s like you’re in purgatory at first, floating in this surreal place where everything is different than what you thought it was.  And you can only guess what you did wrong.  For the rest of your life, or until you get over it; until you realize that person was not a great loss.  Hell, you’re better off without them.  It’s better to realize that sooner than later.  You save yourself a lot of wasted time.  Anything lost that easily was never worth having to begin with. 

I hate to compare break-ups to deodorant stains…but…

I find myself wondering why the damn stains won’t come off until I wash it, and even then sometimes the marks stay.  It reminds me of these situations.  That annoying, lingering effect someone can have on you, no matter how hard you try to get rid of it, it doesn’t seem to go away…


One Response to “Ice Cream: The Cold Break-Up Medication & The Cold Harsh Truth”

  1. TheDisfigured February 19, 2013 at 7:05 pm #

    Compatibility has nothing to do with the personality or worth of either party. If someone just ups and leaves without a goodbye, fuck em’. They’re not worth any extra attention, positive or negative.

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